Facebook, MySpace and Twitter. They’re all the rage.

Social Media, once the safe harbor for the under 20 crowd, has broken wide open and is now used by more people worldwide (67%) than use email (65%). A March 9, 2009 Brandweek.com article (http://www.brandweek.com/bw/content_display/esearch/e3ib6fbb0bdadb8c84a650efc7e053b6eed) quoted a Nielsen study that showed two-thirds of the world’s Internet users visited a social networking site in 2008 and that more than 10% of all the time spent on the Internet is spent on social media activities.

Commenting on the study, Nielsen CEO John Burbank said, “Social networking has become a fundamental part of the global online experience. Social networking will continue to alter not just the global online landscape, but the consumer experience at large.”

One-Third of Leisure goes to Internet

Internet use for leisure overall has skyrocketed with the average user spending more than 20 hours per week accessing the Internet from home. US Internet users report that they spend about 30% of their total leisure time on the Internet.

These large jumps come directly at the hands of Social Networking. Puzzled as some may be at the allure of Facebook and Twitter, there is no doubt that Americans are socializing online more now than ever before, and forecasts say that the trend will continue. Professionally, the importance of these new channels cannot be overstated when CareerBuilder reports that more than 20% of hiring managers look at an applicant’s MySpace or Facebook page and as many as one-third of those candidates were not considered because of what was found. Brands are dabbling more and more into ways to make social media activities support and enhance the experience.

This whopping increase in online socializing is not a new phenomenon. As early as 2006 Media Life Research was reporting a dramatic shift to spending time online in social activities (Feb 1, 2006 study by Media Life Research, http://www.medialifemagazine.com/cgi-bin/artman/exec/view.cgi?archive=170&num=2581).

Popular, Yes! Burdensome, Yes!

I can’t tell you how many people, professionals mainly, with demanding jobs and family lives, complain to me about the amount of time they are now spending just keeping up with their social media network spaces. Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter are the main culprits for the 35-plus crowd. Throw in YouTube for the younger guns (harbinger of a strongly audio-visual era coming?).

What to do? What to do? Something has to give and that giving is you.

Control the Addictive Behavior — Start with Email

Not long ago I discovered I was an email junkie.

I had stored up more than 12,000 emails in my inbox and another 36,000 filed away in folders. Needless to say, my email application was moaning and groaning, but I was secure in the fact that I could find anything. Then, one day I needed to find some coorespondence from a couple of years ago and did a simple search. Hundreds of emails came up. It looked like an uncontrolled Google search from the early Internet days. Something had to change. Something had to change.

First, I archived all of my emails from previous years. Tested the archives and felt confident I could still find the old messages, just not with a couple of quick clicks in my trusty email app.

Second, and here’s the hard part, I decided that I needed to “zero out” my inbox every day.

Well, nice idea but wholly unpractical! The grand “zero out” scheme lasted a couple of days until I got too busy to get past the messages from my clients. So Plan B, which is now working, is to trash or file every email in my inbox by the end of every week. It takes a bit of time and a lot of desire, but the weekly zero out approach seems to be working.

Turn Off the “Ding”

Another problem I had created for myself was turning on a little alert system to tell me when new emails arrive. Then, to add insult to injury, I turned on email alerts in my Facebook, Linkedin, Plaxo and other social media and the problem got even worse. Every few seconds I would get a “ding” and often a small window would appear on my desktop telling me I had just received email.

What an incredible distraction. None of these emails was so important that I needed to stop and handle it at that moment, but like a ringing phone, I just couldn’t ignore it.

So, I reworked the ding to only alert me when I get email from someone who is already in my addressbook. No more warnings when someone updates, or writes on my wall, comments or my comment or starts following me on Twitter.

The Trick is to Control Yourself

Controlling your online socializing really isn’t magic, it just takes some discipline and deception.

Discipline in not watching my social media during the day when I’m at work. I’m in the business of digital communications, so I convinced myself that I needed to stop, look and listen at every little thing that come at me. But it had grown to be watch and listen, watch and listen, respond, watch and listen, reply, and so on al day and all night.

Now I look at and handle Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter only in the morning before I get started working and in the evening after I get home. The rest of the time I ignore all my social media pages, not even leaving them on a browser tab.

I stopped obsessing and intentionally hid all my social media so I wouldn’t be tempted “just to peek.”

Talk When it Matters, Listen All The Time

A long time ago I decided that most of the world really doesn’t need to know what “That 70′s Show” character I’m most like (Steven Hyde, BTW), or when and where I’m going places or who I’m seeing and what we’re doing. If I’m doing something different, then I say it. Otherwise, I reserve my comments for something I feel might be interesting or useful to most of my friends or followers (they may disagree). If it’s important, then speak up. My rule is to say it only if it is something I would normally tell a person on a phone call without them asking.

Saying less reduces the wear and tear on me and my friends. And will save you a bunch of socializing time.

Instead I quietly keep up with my family and friends, occasionally commenting on their updates.

On the business side of my social media, I reserve comments on things related to digital communications, my blogs or my speaking engagements. That alone generates enough response to keep me busy.

Just Say No!

So if you are spending too much time socializing on your social media networks or waiting for your email to ding, just get hold of yourself and stop. Chances are you’re constantly watching your email and social media pages (stop it) or constantly chirping about what you’re doing, seeing or feeling (think before you tweet).

Slow things down — your boss will really appreciate it (and don’t think he or she doesn’t notice all those status updates and tweets in the middle of the day), your spouse or partner will appreciate it, your children will love you for it and your friends and neighbors will once again see your shining face in the light of day.

Seriously, enjoy the exciting newness of your social media adventure and then get it all back into balance.

Until next time, may all the good news you hear be true.

Cheers,
steve