Like so many, I was taught to manage my professional life with a To Do list. Every day I would start the day by reviewing the list and adding any new To Dos. Then plow into my workday and periodically mark things off my list.

I see scores of people run their day just like that, focused on the list and what they can cross off. At the end of the day they look at the To Do list a last time and bemoan the things they didn’t finish. In other words, they look at their failures that day, the next day, and every day.

A good friend and mentor many years ago shared some life secrets with me. I was young, impulsive and none too patient with anything or any body. I built my own anxiety out of a drive and desire to get their fast, to be first, to be the shining young star. And, in may respects, I was winning and shining, but the toll it took on the rest of me was growing quickly.

Health issues, anger issues, no life outside of work, few friends, no enjoyable pastimes — just not happy.

Simply changing one big thing wasn’t going to fix this mess, but it was a start. So I began leaving work at a somewhat reasonable hour (still in the dark), i ate better, I spent time with friends and rekindled some interest in a few hobbies. But in the end, I was just changing the time I spent on things, not really changing how I felt about things.

This is where my friend’s advice came in.

Care Less, Care None

Care less about some things, care nothing about the little things, and focus on success.

I tried, and failed. Tried and failed. Tried and failed again. But over some time I actually changed, a little. The big catalyst was my wife, Jeannine. She softened me first, then two children did their magic. It took all that to move the needle some, but I was still focusing on many of the wrong things. Like what I “didn’t” get done today.

That was it! The one small trait that was tainting my thinking every day. I was focused on the negative, not the positive. I was focused only on the big things, not the many, many small things that make up every one of our days.

End on a Positive

So here’s what my friend told me to do. Start the day just like normal, go over my To Do list and add anything new. Go about my day just like normal. But at the end of the day, when I pull out my marked-up To Do list, I was to add any things that happened in the day that I spent time on that I didn’t intend at the start of the day. Then I was to focus on what I had done, not what I had failed to do.

After a few days my marked-up, end-of-day To Do list had become a personal journal. Business tasks and personal tasks accomplished were blended together. But more importantly, each day as I reflected on the things I had accomplished, I began to more clearly see and understand the value of the things that were not originally on my list.

Things like helping a younger colleague, support a favorite charity or professional group, talking and sharing with friends and associates, writing and using my other skills to help various people and groups. None of those things were on my work To Do list, but nonetheless they were things that I spent a little time on each day because they were important. They were a way to “give back” and stay connected. They were a way to use what little time and talent I had been given to help someone else.

Focus and Measurement

So two things occurred — I ended each day focused on my accomplishments, and I measured my accomplishments in a very different way. Part business, part “give-back,” and part helping others. Remarkably, I was the one that reaped the lion’s share of good will from spending a little time on others.

So start your day like always, focused on what you have to get done. Go about your day in the same professional manner you probably have for years. But change the way you finish. Look back and dwell on achievements, large and small, business and personal and feel good. With time you’ll actually look forward to the end of each day when you can tally up what you did and what it meant to others.

Until next time, may all the good you hear be true.

Cheers,
steve